Monthly Archives: February 2014

He might even enjoy it (tweeted 11th Nov 2013)

“I’m sorry Madam” the officer continues “but based on what’s happened tonight and what you’ve been telling me, I’m going to recommend that your father’s licence is suspended straight away.”

My heart sinks but I tell the officer that I knew he was going to say that and it’s the right thing to do. I ask him not to tell Dad yet, and that I will speak to him tomorrow when things are calmer. He agrees and thrusts some leaflets into my hand.

“You’ll need to read these to him, make sure he understands. There are lots of options out there, buses, private taxis for doctors and hospital appointments. He might even enjoy it.”

I thank him. He gives me the keys and leaves. Dad is waiting in the passenger seat.

“It’s not like he was saying” he starts. “I just got confused. There was no need for the blue lights and noise. That just made it worse.”

I pause and then tell him that he could have killed someone.

Neither of us says anything else and I start the engine. The wipers come on automatically. They are worn and there is a loud squeak against the windshield with every stroke. We head back to the house, with no sound but the wipers and the rain to keep us company. I think about turning the radio on but it’s an old analogue one with a knob and I can’t see how to work it.

We pull into the driveway, weeds briefly present in the headlights before disappearing under the car. I turn the engine off.

The rain has stopped and there is silence.

“I’ll miss it” he says.

I tell him that we’ll talk in the morning and open the car door.

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I am Spiderman (tweeted 8th Nov 2013)

I am Spiderman.

And you see that boy over there?

He’s Doctor Octopus and he’s going to trap me and take me prisoner. But then I’m going to shoot my web at him and escape.

No, no,no!

Actually he’s Batman but he’s a bad Batman and he wants to get me because I webbed his Batmobile. And I’m going to swing over him and escape to my base under the slide. And then I’m going to turn into Santa and take away all his presents because he’s a naughty Batman.

Actually I’m Freezeman and I’m going to freeze his feet with ice so he can’t move. And then Robin will come and help fix him.

But not good Robin…bad Robin.

And then I’m going to web Robin and catch him but Batman will escape and tie me up.

Actually, I’m Iron Man and he’s the Green Godlin. I’m going to fly up in the sky with my rockets really really high and then land on his head and squash him so he’s really small. And then he won’t be able to get me and I’ll carry him to prison.

No, I’m Robin Hood and he’s King Arthur and our mission is to stop the Green Godlin from coming in our castle. I will use my bow and arrow and he can use his sword. His sword is called Erscallyber.

No, actually he’s Little John and he can use a stick and he’s really strong and he knocks me in the water but really we’re best friends. I’m a fox and he’s a bear but we’re just pretending.

Actually I’m Superman and he’s Spiderman.

But he’s a bad Spiderman!